In search of God

I have come to the realization as of late that both my God and my Jesus are too small. I guess I just can’t help it sometimes. I would rather have a nice, kind, friendly Jesus than a Christ that pushes me to change every day I encounter Him. I would prefer to pray to a God that is more like Santa than the God that spoke the world into being, or cast plagues onto a nation. Simply put, I build a nice clean boring box and vainly attempt to fit my idea of God inside. You see, when I need a vengeful God, that is what I create. When I need a radical Jesus, that is where I focus. But somewhere in my fallible human state I loose sight of the big picture – a God that always has been and always will be who set the earth into motion that is big enough to create but also low enough to love a wretch like me. A Jesus loving enough to humble himself on the cross, but righteous enough to eat with the sinner. I sell myself short.
I f only I could grasp onto the entirety of God – the great big and the small, the God that we should fear and the God we should run too, my faith would be greatly enhanced. When Moses encountered God on Mount Sinai his face began to glow – so much so he had to cover it. I want that God. The true God, not tainted my our fallible and human misconceptions. The God that is I AM. How great would it be if we could just let go – let go of our preconceptions, or of who we think God should be – and just allowed God to reveal Gods self to us.
This has become my prayer. Lord, reveal yourself to me for who You truly are. As humans we usually have good intentions, but through the past thousand years we have vainly attempted to try to explain an infinite God with finite minds. Because of this, we often leave out important aspects. I do not want that. I want to serve the one true God – not my explanation on who I think God is. I want to see God in such a way that my face glows because of God’s presence. Lord, let that be our heart. Oh that we could be freed from our finite minds just so we could see God in all of God’s glory – I do not think we could ever make a box big enough to contain that.